The Music of My Mind
Saturday, February 4, 2006
Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery
Looking back You know
You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky
Now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky
Now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see
How failures bring humility
I'd rather have wisdom and pain
Brings me to my knees
Than be a comfortable old fool
Helps me see my need for thee
How failures bring humility
I'd rather have wisdom and pain
Brings me to my knees
Than be a comfortable old fool
Helps me see my need for thee
Looking back You know
You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky
Now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back on my road thus far, my journey has left its share of scars, mostly from leaving the narrow and straight. Looking back it is clear to me that I am more than the sum of my deeds. And how He's made good of this mess I've made is a profound mystery. Looking back I see how you brought me through all that I was so afraid of.
Now that I am once again looking ahead in my life, the questions return. I am trying to use the past to shape the future, but I so often see my past as what not to do in the future. It's like I am still trying out all the options, knowing that the few that I have tried in the past don't work, but there are still so many options to try before I figure out which is the right one.
I think my biggest struggle always seems to be figuring out how I know that an opportunity is good for me or not. More than that, I struggle deciphering between something that is good, and something that is the best. Patience is not my fortay (did I spell that right?). What to do, what to do, what to do? Good is ok, but the things that are the best are what I really want to hold out for and really gradb onto when they come? I think I settle a lot thinking that the best might not come along so I grab onto the good that is right in front of me. What to do? And then the question comes up, what if I become so obsesses with waiting for the best, that it passes me by and I have to settle for the good again? Scary thought.
I guess from here on out, I can pray (when I do pray, that is. I'm trying to work on that.) that God reveal to me his best and for me to take advantage of His best when he places it in front of me. I've heard that when we pray, God answers. Can I get a witness?
You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky
Now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back on my road thus far, my journey has left its share of scars, mostly from leaving the narrow and straight. Looking back it is clear to me that I am more than the sum of my deeds. And how He's made good of this mess I've made is a profound mystery. Looking back I see how you brought me through all that I was so afraid of.
Now that I am once again looking ahead in my life, the questions return. I am trying to use the past to shape the future, but I so often see my past as what not to do in the future. It's like I am still trying out all the options, knowing that the few that I have tried in the past don't work, but there are still so many options to try before I figure out which is the right one.
I think my biggest struggle always seems to be figuring out how I know that an opportunity is good for me or not. More than that, I struggle deciphering between something that is good, and something that is the best. Patience is not my fortay (did I spell that right?). What to do, what to do, what to do? Good is ok, but the things that are the best are what I really want to hold out for and really gradb onto when they come? I think I settle a lot thinking that the best might not come along so I grab onto the good that is right in front of me. What to do? And then the question comes up, what if I become so obsesses with waiting for the best, that it passes me by and I have to settle for the good again? Scary thought.
I guess from here on out, I can pray (when I do pray, that is. I'm trying to work on that.) that God reveal to me his best and for me to take advantage of His best when he places it in front of me. I've heard that when we pray, God answers. Can I get a witness?
Posted byMike Fennema posted 11:56 AM
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Hi Mike, great song choice...makes me want to pull out the Caedmon's Call CD. God does answer prayer...just in His time. That's the part I have the most trouble with. That darn patience piece of it all. But I am glad to see you are doing well...
Melanie
Witness in the house. Thanks for offering another great reflection. (And it's forté.)
I agree - Good is not always the best. I rest in the fact that I am seeking God's will and He will not let me be at peace with complacency. If you are seeking God's will - you will know what is best for you. Also never feel guilty about holding out for the best. I think as humans we often settle for things because they fit our time line - not the Lords.
Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him"
yep. I think you are where I am right now. It is a hard place to be.